Ria was my elder sister, we used to have lots of fights, and never used to speak on unnecessary reason. Whenever we had any work with each other we used to talk. Well this time it wasn’t the work , here first time I wanted a advice from her, well when I said that I had a break up she was shocked and asked me did u even had a girlfriend? She knew that I wasn’t fooling her, she could see into my eyes that I was broke, she made a coffee for me and advised me as she was a girl and pretty much experienced in this stuff. She said that, “Every girl always listens to her family, as in family comes first”. I quietly listened to her and sipped the coffee slowly. I couldn’t sleep that day. It was almost morning and I asked my sister to do a favor telling her to take my cell for today because I never wanted to attend any calls for that day neither I wanted myself to call her or message her because I was getting too restless. Had a bath in the morning and went off to sleep for a while and then off to college in mum’s car she dropped me off. Going to class in a off mood made everyone noticed that I was sad for some reason. We had a morning assembly as it was a junior college, friends seeing at me teasing me saying her name and calling me bugged me more. After the assembly they came to me asking how my date went with Sonia. I was all silent till I reached the class I told them that it’s over, and they knew it was for real and am not faking. They tried to console me, all alone I was crying inside.
Hour and hour, Time by time passed, teacher and teacher, books by books changed, in every class I was unto a dream of getting lost into deep forest, on waves of oceans and seas, in the heat of changing sand dunes of desert, in freezing cold of ice bergs and glaciers, deep into the caves that ended in darkness, finding her.
Then at home my sister arrived and handed over my mobile unto my hands. “She had called” said my sister. I wasn’t interested in knowing what they spoke, she later said that she asked Sonia that was she just flirting or doing time-pass with you, or she has a boyfriend already, Sonia said no to every question. It didn’t make any difference in my behavior.
I couldn’t call her, my mind was too hurt it didn’t wanted to hear her voice.
Next day I had miss call from her I wonder that was the first miss call I had ever gotten from her, I called her back we had a small chat, while keep the phone she said, “Bye”. I waited a moment tears rolling through my eyes I said, “Bye”, and I cried remembering she shouting me to tell every time to tell how much I loved her while keeping the phone. I couldn’t bear, everything related to her was changing, She asked to be her friend and told that friendship is better than being in a relationship and it lasts forever, but I couldn’t do it was too hard for me.
Day by day the change was killing me from inside, I wanted to be happy again, I used to ignore calling her but she never used to stop miss calling me, at least in a week I used to get 4 to 5 miss calls of her and we used to talk as friends. I wanted to meet her and ask her that did she really wanted to leave me and why is she doing thing on her face and explain her that we could handle it well but she always refused me, and pleaded me not to come. I started getting doubts as any other person would get, I was possessive about her lot. I started concentrating on my studies, and went into deep thinking and distracted my mind from Sonia.
This one day I got a message on my phone from Sonia asking me a favor, I gladly replied I would love to do it, she replied saying –please could recharge my card and said it was urgent and her parents were outside and she didn’t had any money and said that she would repay me later. The moment I didn’t had any reaction yet on my face, another message comes –Airtel 100rs, I didn’t knew what to reply or even imagine that she would turn up like this, I said my dad’s at home and he won’t let me go out as I am having a practical’s tomorrow.
Then came February and then Valentine’s Day, I called her up and said that I wanted to meet her and I told her that I had bought her a gift. She refused to it too I knew the answer would be no, but then too I did one thing that day! She loved roses, I took a box and inserted the rose in it and sealed it tight, keeping and preserving it that one day I would surely give it to her.
Damn it was hard I thank my really good friend who never leaved me and handled me every time I get sad, it was music, happy songs made me happy sad songs did the opposite.
Sometimes I felt like dying like soul I carve her name on my hand, or should I stand along the street next to her house as they show in movies.
Remembering those moments with her just made me learn! How to breathe?
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