The Offline Love

The day had passed, standing in cue in front of the ticket counter; I was going to my friend's place as I said my parents that I would be doing a night out at his place. I went towards the platform and got the train while on the train standing at the door, feeling up the cool breeze of that night seeing at the sky just felt as if I m flying into the black sky imagining her all the way with me standing write beside me, the fairness of her skin, the brown glossy silky hair, her small nose, when she smiled she had this beautiful dimples come out, she was skinny but not that skinny. By the time the station came up, it was just two stations far from here place. Caught a auto which reminded me about her sitting beside me, when I got close to her at the first time, asked her to give her hand into mine, the holding of her hand was the best part because she hold my hand very strongly like the hands were talking to mine saying where were you?, I missed you a lot, don't ever get apart from me, taking my other hand through her shoulders holding her tight and letting her feel secure, as there were lots of bumps, as u know roads of Mumbai. I then reached at my buddy's place, ate dinner and told him everything making him jealous and showed him our picture, he was happy to see each other. After awhile I got a call from her she asked 'have you reached safely at home', I said 'yes' and asked her that did she enjoyed today she said 'yes I loved it', then funnily she asked me to cut off my mustache, laughing I said 'no', I won’t be able to give a reason at home, and then I said that she looked very beautiful, I just complimented about every feature of her, about her cute dimples, about her silky hair, and her delicate hands, and told her that she is too lucky to have me as a lover, because I let her know that she was very much special to me and important and my love is not an ordinary one, its special I said, even you would had been ugly I would had accepted it, she stopped me and said even I m lucky to have her cause very less people exists in this world who are liked by her and I was the one of them, the only thing she didn't like was the mustache, I told her that would shave it off later, then I asked about the sudden hug in auto, she said that she wanted to thank me for accepting me as your lover, I said ' I love you' suddenly. Damn I was to touched by her talk, I said I missed her that very moment I asked her what she was doing tomorrow and said take out a little time for me, she said 'I would have my whole lifetime to waste on you', I said wow k then we are meeting tomorrow, and then after a while I had to keep the phone down as my friend got bored so had a little chat with him then went off to bed.
I got up early in the morning and gave a cute wake up call, saying that I would be coming in two hours, she said me in a low voice that she would be ready by then. She was glad that I was meeting her up again next day, I could guess her out by her sweet voice, it was Monday morning and the rush increased in the local trains, was exhausted traveling two stations. It was worth after I seen her walking from her house in a cute little denim skirt and colorful top, feeling scared she said to me why I am so close to her house what if someone saw me, I apologized and we left from there. I wasn't familiar from that place so I couldn't say where we should go I said why not go again on a beach she was fine with it, but I felt a little bad taken out at same place was so un cool. It wasn't same in the auto we sat but without holding hand didn't talked much, in few minutes we reached and started walking up by the beach, I asked did she wanted to sit, she replied 'no' and asked me 'could we just walk today', I replied 'as you wish', I felt awkward to say her honey or darling that would just make her an ordinary girl friend and I wanted her to feel a bit special. While walking by her side I noticed her hand was waiting to get a hold of me, then slightly slide my hand through her elbow to her delicate finger and catch hold of them. Feeling her hand kind of told me that she was a bit disturbed and wanted to tell me something, I uttered 'what’s the problem? Say to me', she smiled and said she wanted to tell me something but she won’t tell me now, she would tell her when I reach home. I was a bit scared I said all possible guess in my mind; she denied it all and said you come to know at that time only. Until then our hands got sweaty and they had to be apart for a little air. Walking by her side matching her steps I asked in the future what did she wanted to be, she answered 'a entrepreneur', she asked me I said 'I wasn't sure about it maybe engineering'. She didn't talked much today as she was a bit disturbed I then told her that we should leave I was getting late, she accepted and we leaved sitting into the auto, I asked her that 'did she loved me?', she was surprised by the question that, why I was asking her?, she said 'yes and she will always do!'. Her face was blank with no expression on it. She wasn't looking at me at all she looked very worried, we reached near her house. I was about to pay the auto driver, She stopped me and asked that take the same auto and leave to station I was bit astonished as she said it, it was like now I m leaving her and won’t see her for a day. I agreed to her decision because I understood as she was a bit worried lately.
I reached the station I had the ticket already so went directly towards the platform, boarding the train. I was standing beside the door, gave her call, told her that I can’t wait till I reach home tell me now, she disagreed but I forced to tell. She sighed and said, ''Look Roy last night I had a chat with my elder brother I told him about you I showed your picture to him and said everything about you what you did, where were you from, even told about your nature and said him how we met and we were in love, He wasn't angry about me but in the past once I did a mistake, one guy left me during my boards and I was broken at that time and my boards went bad, my results came up very dull, and my family knew about the guy, my brother advised me and said, As next year again I m having my boards and I have to concentrate on them, so he said as our relationship hasn't existed for a long time so it would be easy to carry on, so he asked me to break up with you!'', I was all silent till she finished, I just asked her,’ Whom you going to listen to, Yourself or Your Brother?'.

love story (offline love)

It was cold winter lately in Mumbai December ’08. Me (the guy named Roy). I was in 12th standard, was just getting ready for my boards, my preliminary exams had just finished. Was planning to party on 31st as it was a new years, got a little bored by the pressure of exams and stuff. Lately I was introduced to orkut in June of that year, had enough friends, was stupid to look out new profiles: P. I got attracted to one of the profiles; it was just like a pink heart 'end princess named Sonia. Send 'end a request got accepted in another day. Had a little chat with her on yahoo then she gave’d her no. Saying that she never done this before so after awhile she was impressed by my talk and so we exchange nos, we weren't totally strangers we had long distant mutual friend, we were friends so on, I hadn't seen her as her profile picture was some actress's picture so never had a chance to see her in person though, well I wasn't that serious about it at that moment.
New Year arrived as my luck became good. '09 was full of surprises. We talked a lot to each other and we liked each other. I m mentioning it again, that still we never did see each other.
Then on 8th of first month had a long chat with her from 5pm to 1am,it was late I was all out of balance, I didn't liked she calling up from her father's cell this late, so I said goodnight and sweet dreams, we knew, we liked each other and couldn't stop talking for a minute . She then sended an sms saying goodnight, after a minute I get a call from her, asking up reply as I never had balance, I knew she wanted to tell me that she loved me a lot. I don't know where it came into her she became a little courageous. After fifteen minutes I got another sms saying ''I loved you a lot I can't live without you and I promise you that I would never let you go'' within a fraction of second, I jumped off my bed, I got a call from her saying, 'that read your sms to me :)' I was sure that however she does looks, wherever she lives, whatever she had done till now, it won’t matter a bit to me or change me a bit how am I now, I was happy after a long time my face had got a great smile over it, heart was off the hook flying into the black sky, glowed at night, (Oh k back to phone) there was chance to say no and refuse to her!. Well I read aloud all the words exactly as it was in the message and added, 'I was going to tell her in the morning that I loved her' filling up my balance but she did it much earlier. I don't know but I loved the way she expressed it to me. Then we talked, again after a while she uttered to me that ''What if u leave me some day in near future and after a 2 years you get the news that I have committed a suicide then what you would do '', I stayed quiet for a while and shouted her saying that I already said that I would never leave her alone and I warned her not even think about getting apart. She started crying that very moment then I had to console her to be happy and the night ended with happiness. Got up in the morning all keeping it real and I went off to college blabbering everyone that I got a girlfriend making them jealous though many of them had one.
Was the first night I had a thought about a girl who loves me a lot, I could not stop thinking of her. Talking to her just made my heart melt. I remember we were about to keep the phones down I said 'bye would talk to you later' and she was like' say it!' I said 'what', 'say that you love me and then keep the phone', I got a feeling to be loved by someone who would die to hear it forever and always and reminding me was just fun, I always used to do that, so she would get angry and shout at me asking me to tell her that how much I loved her. I don't know where it came from but I started collecting recharge coupons whenever I used to recharge my cell phone, I thought one day I would think about some creative thing and gift her.
Love was good and I loved her any way, as you like a any bike you always see it, love it, take out a picture of it, stick it in to your room, see it every day, that's how I got eager to see her, I wanted a face, a body, eyes that stares at me all the time, a smile from which I would just fall of any cliff, the scent that I would be reminded even I get deaf and blind I would sense her by her scent, brush of her hairs that would make me sleep anywhere, the look on her face that I would get every time I say her that, how much I loved her and would never let her go.
Called her, uttered about meeting, told her that I need a face need a body which I would imagine and think about her, told her while sleeping I get a dream about her but I m unable to see you, I always find you in dense forest, dense fog I can hear you, but that's not enough, then as we had our profile, we could had uploaded our picture and shown each other our pictures, but we did not wanted ourselves to judge by a stupid picture on through the net, so we made pact that we won’t exchanges photos and we would see directly face on face. Well she was a year younger than me, I had my boards, so as asked about meeting someday early, she told that we would meet after my boards, I was a bit sad as she told, but I understood she was worried that I won’t concentrate on my studies, and would get disappointed by the result and she never wanted to be the reason.
As the days passed, the desperation increased. After some days I got up in the morning and had call by 10 we just talked for awhile she asked me to come to her place and meet her, with no doubt or questioning. I said 'I coming right away, wait for me', she asked if I would have a lunch at her place I was pleased that she could cook at her age. I made some stupid reason to my family that me and my friends are studying together at a friend’s house practicing math. Caught a local train, she guided me all the way on phone, talking to me every second and not believing that I m seriously coming up to meet her. Finally I reached near her place, she told me to wait outside as she, by her own escorts me to her home, well I was standing on road expecting her ,I remembered she telling me that, she looked very good and even said that 'in her class there wasn't a one guy who didn't proposed her' I trusted her a lot, well I sawed a girl from far couldn't see the face, she had wore a top and a skirt, I don't know why but thought like she was trying me to impress me and I was surprised as she came near and nearer, we said 'hi' then started walking and my mouth was open saying the word in my mind 'wow' while walking with her, in her neighborhood the people not staring at her but me, thinking how the fuck this guy got a this girl when he was never seen around. We reached home, she offered me glass of water and we chat for a bit and then she asked where did I wanted to go I said we will go on a beach as it was around 4pm we would get a sunset over there, she said OK and asked for minute to change, then while she was busy I remembered a thing that she asked me to propose formally face on face. When she came out, I asked her to stand for awhile then hold 'd her hand and knelled down on her and said that 'I loved her a lot' and asked that 'would you take care of me always and love me forever and always.' she was all flattered and was out of the words, and silently said yes. I was never prepared for doing anything till now it was just sudden decision to go out. Well the beach wasn't near so we had to take and auto. Sat so close to her that even more two people could had adjust in that auto, I hold her hand in mine and wonderfully spaces between my finger her hand fit perfectly, with a black nail polish on her nail, wearing a black top and had a spectacles, her hair were the best feature I had never seen that good hair in my lifetime, she couldn't talk much I don't know she was a bit shy but she was a lot happy to see me, she showed me how she saved all the good messages which I made out of myself, then we got down at a beach I never had came to a beach with a girl ever earlier, this was my first time so I never knew what exactly the couples do at beach :P, she guided me again as you know girls guide each other with their BFF and has every info well she taken me to a place and we sat on the rocks. My hand went to her waist letting her head lie on my shoulder feeling secured and loving, we went into silence for awhile then had a little laughing times shared a bit of things which we couldn't share on phone, there was a bit of disturbance by the eunuch people (chakkas) had to give them some money to get rid of them, then we cracked a bit jokes, then clicked a photo, then we went into silence she pushed herself into my arms resting her head on my chest, I was feeling like getting in to the seventh cloud seeing the sun setting down onto horizon, that was the happiest moment of my life, I wished to be like that forever and always, I ordered the world to stand still forever in my mind. Suddenly we heard a sound someone calling up her name Sonia from far back, she got shocked suddenly, turned back we saw a girl going, we had misunderstanding and I was like 'what the f?' she asked we should leave now, I agreed, taken a auto, sat close to her again she pointed out her school, then after a while, she hugged me suddenly don't know why she did it but she wanted to thank me from her heart and said that she loved me a lot. Then after awhile she looked into my eyes and then I kissed her, the very much moment was the greatest moment of my life. She had a droplet rolling through her eyes I wiped it off and said I would always love her. I dropped her off at home she again invited me inside, told me what to say if anyone asks how was I related to her, then met her father, had a little chat and then met her mother but was in hurry so didn't had a opportunity to talk to her. After a while I left her house.
I was damn happy giving up call to each other and every close friend and saying how beautiful see looked and acted. I loved her a lot and enjoyed that day a lot. That was the day of my offline love I got a vision of my love; I got the eyes of my love, which all stepped back, to love her all my life.

There ain't a god !

As a ant needs to survive on grass, grasshopper on ants lizards on grasshopper, chickens on lizards i guess :P, humans are the only one can survive on any living thing. I am not against god or either against in believers of god. By the source of the book 'The secret' if you try and apply it what they say you would know that there is only one thing called energy in this wide universe and whatever we wish comes true and the power to make it true lies within you. God is just a word used to make it feel better that there is someone to take care someone who is seeing upon us someone is worried about us and someone is making our wishes come true.
I always asked many people who always guided me to move on to path which god guided them in to the books of lords, great teachers of humanity, the spiritual gods, that have they ever seen a god by there own eyes, from this i don't mean that its all false. I say what you believe is main aspect in every way of your life. You are to decide what you have to do in your life not some old book written on some man who doesn't exist right now.
They say god lives within you you don't need any photos or a sculpture to pray, that's where i point if you want something ask it to no other but you.As ant has to die being someone's meal that is how someday we have to die just not being someone's meals thanking that we have a bit smarter brains to avoid that, sometimes it comes early or comes late, as ants are always prepared we also should be prepared. Prepare to face our life, crossing all obstacles coming between.